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Friday, June 27, 2008

and sometimes, home isnt always the best place to be at the end of the day

and sometimes, home isnt always the best place to be at the end of the day

oh joy, the mid year exams are finally over.
oh irony.
it is of relieve and not of pure happiness derived from the end of exams knowing that the outcome wont be as pleasing as how the exams had been.
the thing is, the results arent as scary as the ptm.
deep inside, i know this will not and shall not ever be the results i am going to see in my A level cert.

its really frightening to see friends from other school scoring As and Bs like its nothing. and getting a C is suicide. for us S is a er okay and U is oh gosh.

the chem paper, which i find that it is actually quite do-able except that, i suddenly have faint memory of those equations and only vaguely know what to do but not what to write for paper 3, while paper 1, it is very tedious, so quite a few questions will be up to luck.

after which went to the airport with joanne, tim and andre. on the way, with annabelle, and before that jonathan was with us, thus, the group just became smaller and smaller as people 'pangsei-ed'.
anyways, the airport is always an exciting place to be.
amidst of all the exciting things, its also one of the most serene place. haha, not as dead silent as the library, yet, the calmness of the place among the interesting stuffs. seeing people from different countries, and bored locals just like us who go there for different reasons and air stewardess and pilots, watching the aircrafts take off and etc etc.
we went there to eat at popeyes. before that, we got kinda 'lost' finding the place, had fun with the sky train and just plainly walking ard the airport and going to candy empire!
joked about how we just went on a holiday and back when buying the chocolate that says its from germany, and having foreign language on its wraper.
yep, and now i also agree that popeyes is much nicer than kfc!

afterall, it seems that the airport and some other favourite spots.
it is so much nicer than being at home.
can just relax there and watch the world go by.
yep, one of my dream is to travel ard the world :D

back to this saddening fact of my life.

coming back home is just...
its not as peaceful as it should be.
for me, i cant have as much privacy except in the bath room and within the darkness.
most of the time, i'm always subjected to be at their beck and call, causing quite a disturbant.
its not a place where you can be who you are either.
yep its true, for you are in your parents home and you should be behaving as your parent's wishes.
always under the scrutiny of mean vultures who have any chance to prey on slightest 'i am not suppose to be doing.. things' to tattle off and to criticise upon.
yeah, and much hypocrisy going on in most of the 'argurments'.
you've once said that i will never have the chance of winning it despite whatever reasons.

telling myself that my heart should hardened and go along your way till one day i am no longer obliged to you, i shall show you.
but the revengeful feeling doesnt set in deep enough as always for it is too much to bear at times.
always ending up with i being the one to forgive and forgo it...

there's no one i can tell, except to keep this to myself.
sometimes just pulling a long face and than being emotionless.
ending up in getting a scolding and the emotions bursting.
its a vicious cycle.
and as it is to them, they say the world is as cruel.